By Buffy Cancade.
This one’s for those of us feeling that life’s demands can sometimes be TOO MUCH, and we’d much rather be living with a full heart than a busy mind. Clearing out that feeling that there’s not enough time, not enough energy, to get by or to possibly get it all done (and never mind THRIVE?!). What can we let go of, to make room for so much more heartfelt living? How do we do that?
I admit, I’ve been a chronic overdoer. I keep my plate FULL and I keep a running list of things that need doing, and the things I’ll do next. Driven by inner and outer expectations (mostly perceived), I juggle my attention between the most pressing tasks, and my friends & loved ones sometimes get that same, juggled attention (if any). There’s a long list of things that I think I’m not getting to. Sometimes it feels like I’m just keeping my head above water, jaw tight, breath shallow, and in fact, getting nowhere I truly intend to be.
So how about that question, how do you get where you really feel you meant to be? How do you know what that place or feeling is? In recent years, I’ve been working on practicing present-moment awareness to counteract my tendency (deeply ingrained!) towards overdoing it. And when I do, I can feel the difference!
First, ask yourself.
Recently we sold our primary family business. So I’ve been really asking myself lately, what am I willing to take on next? I noticed that my habitual thoughts wanted me to fill my time again, and hurry up to do the next thing, and meet the expectations that I had for myself or thought others had for me. I’m REALLY GOOD at filling up my time or any perceived ‘free time’, going full speed to achieve the things on my “must-do/should-do” list.
Whoaaaa. Stop, breathe, ask again.
If I actually stop for a full second, I notice a little gut instinct – yay or nay. When life’s too full, I power right past that feeling and keep on going. When I slow down, even for a beat… I feel it. Try it – this is when you can begin to access a deeper listening. Notice anything? There may be a message there.
Breathe, one more time, a little deeper.
When I truly pause to breathe, I can notice a difference – feelings that come from a deeper place. My mind calms and it becomes easier to tell the difference between the clatter of life’s constant demands (**now with notifications!**) and how I truly want to spend my time and energy, my life. Yes or No becomes a simpler answer, some clarity in the haze.
And guess what – there’s way less that I’m willing to do or truly interested in doing. Which can momentarily feel like failure or slacking off. But don’t worry! You will soon feel the rich rewards of time and energy for a few things you truly love.
You let go of 1000% overdoing in your limited time.
You let go of demands that parade around pretending to be urgent.
You said no when that’s what your heart really wanted, even when your mind was jumping on board.
You didn’t put “Thrive” on your to-do list and treat it like just more things to get done.
You put your little inner DO-er to rest and got some real rest.
You gave yourself a break.
What if.. You trusted it will be ok?
What if… You allowed a slower pace to enjoy a greater quality of being present in your life, with your friends, with your family, with things that truly bring you pleasure and nourish your spirit?
What if… You truly allowed for deep wants to surface? To move within your happy, unique spirit. To rest at ease. To be playful. To have a deliciously full cup from which you pour forth your fabulous energy for everyone to enjoy.
What would you do with yourself?
If you are feeling inspired to explore more of these kinds of questions then check out the 6 week Mindfulness Series called ‘ the deep river within ‘. Buffy will be facilitating along with co-host Laura Williams. Click HERE for more info.